023: boring is lucky / dramione girlies wya
In this Valentine's Day Special, Arns yearns for a simple kind of love through "Seed of a Seed" by Haley Heynderickx. Nins suffers and flies while reading Draco Malfoy & the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare.
referenced in this episode:
"Seed of a Seed" by Haley Heynderickx
About page on Haley Heynderickx's website
eTown podcast episode ft. Haley Heynderickx
NPR Music Live Sessions bio on Haley Heynderickx
The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer
Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare (Archive of Our Own)
0:00 - Intro
3:56 - Arns: Seed of a Seed
23:22 - Nins: Dramione fanfic
52:27 - Outro
summary
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(00:00) hi I'm Angela Non I'm Ariana Kempis s and this is brb [Music] crying hello everyone welcome back to brb crying I'm Ariana also known as Arns and I'm Angela also known as Nins and wow I did not think about how I'm introducing this show today I thought that you never do and it's on the fly every single time no sometimes I think about it's like a it's like a nice shower thought what should I say this week well what do you got what do you got for us all right let's see so come on come on this is a pod we're two Charming young
(00:55) women very young yes sit here we Yap about mindblowing [ __ ] it's a good time and we cry oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah be be crying something about crying and like talking about it you know yeah and like a like fun approachable M very way something like that something along those lines I think yeah you've done better but I'll take it I'll take it cuz you know what I can't I can't do better than that so um yeah welcome welcome to our show um now that I've collected myself a little bit we are about to dive
(01:45) into things that have made us cry and uh it's going to be [ __ ] sick so hope you're excited about it yes and today happens to be our very oh so special Valentine's Day episode what yeah love love uh I can't necessarily say that mine is like oh super super Valentine's Day coded okay it's just like about love which I feel like is every story that I talk about every story that we talk about that's so crazy mine's about love too yeah yeah yeah so uh so you know I don't know like Valentine's Day sure yeah we're so
(02:31) happy to be here by the way love being here are you big Valentine's Day girly a valgal uh not really yeah yeah that's fine you're kind of yeah I you know what I love a good theme holiday you know opportunity to bake actually I used to make a lot of like chocolate strawberries that was like my like go-to well I never had one well you're not my Valentine so oh I see you you used to make them for your Valentine okay well you could have specified yeah okay how are you not great about an hour ago I hit my shin really bad it's a
(03:09) long story but the bruise is already forming oh [ ] can you see the bump I can yeah it's [ ] crazy right wow so I'm not good how are you uh I've been better you know but whatever who cares sick I love it should we get into oh oh wait no you have one announcement I have an announcement mhm write us a review on Spotify and or apple send us a screenshot email it to us DM it to us get entered into a drawing to win a beb crying hat short and sweet succinct synced wow um I think that's it that's all I [ ] got should we [ ] Dive Right
(03:53) In we should dive all right all right looks like starting us off looks like it so as I mentioned in previous episodes I'm not going to do the the guessing game intros this season I'm just going to tell you how I stumbled across these topics and that's those are going to be my intros okay so a couple months ago I was hanging out with Joie my husband as I do and his youngest sister gelina who the rest of the world knows as blue and blue is prime jenz she's my go-to person for all things hip and happening which I'm sure
(04:39) gen Z always says you know hip and happening yeah um but anyway I had been lenting that day that I hadn't cried about anything lately and I was like worried like oh no what am I going to talk about blah whatever and she's like oh I need to tell you about this artist that I'm obs obsessed with musical artist art okay got it so jenz so her music taste is way more complex than mine I'm stuck in 2005 you know what I mean yeah e8th grade mhm but like you she's a Capricorn so for some reason Capricorns love these long winded
(05:26) stories I swear to God the top three Capricorns in my life you her my mom uhhuh like a story takes like half an hour yeah get him a mic all over the place get him on the Pod it I mean she's like you know she's standing she's pacing those arm movements it's really dramatic but anyway she's like I got to tell you about this artist she gave us the whole Spiel her C context if you will and then she had us listen to a few songs and I mean I knew it would be good because I trust her judgment but one of the songs she played I just kind of sat there with
(06:07) my face in my hands and I was just crying and I was like oh I didn't know that's what we were getting into right now okay so thank God I got content so shout out blue so today I'm just GNA [ __ ] talk about that song okay and it's called seed of a seed by Haley Hendrick have you heard of her I feel like I have heard of Haley Hendricks I don't I know this song okay oh I'm also hit and happening and happening all right my sources for today there's a little blurb about Haley Hendrick on NPR Music Live sessions and
(06:45) then also Haley Hendrick's own website which is Haley hyen hendrick.com and an episode on a music podcast called e toown and this was published on November 26 2024 all right so some C context Haley Hendrix which by the way is not spelled like you would think it's Haley h a l e y but her last name if anyone wants to look her up right now is h e y e n d e r I'm not following I'm not following this this isn't for you it's for the listeners God now I have to start all over h e y e n d b e r i c k x sure you know what
(07:36) sure she's an indie folk singer songwriter from Oregon again not her real last name as we can tell it's a play on Jimmy Hendrick she's pretty quiet about her personal life but she was actually born in Stockton to a Filipina mom shout out shout the [ __ ] out and an American Dad then she grew up primarily in or so per one of my sources that NPR blurb she was enrolled in guitar lessons after quote having a dream she was the female Jimmy Hendrick but the only teacher in her small town was this Bluegrass instructor
(08:16) which was like kind of weird but also it obviously was meant to be because it totally influenced her musical style so she began her foray into writing and folk music in college and in 2018 she released her debut album called I need to start a garden on the surface her sound is simple and Whimsical and longing I would say in the way that folk songs often are and she has this really beautiful kind of talk singing voice that she accompanies by usually pretty simple Acoustics but what I love is she also does doesn't confine herself to a
(09:01) certain sound so she plays around with Tempo and instruments and her volume in that same NPR article she jokingly calls her genre Doom folk which I [ __ ] love but yeah I figured I would just pause here play a couple of maybe not full songs but just Vibes Vibes gotcha so I'm just going to play first a little bit of the song The Bug collector and this has a casual 110 million views I swear to God when I wrote the story it was 109 million views so um I'm just going to play just the beginning of this song for Vibes so that was the bug collector and
(09:52) that's from her first album and then I figured I would play you a little bit of um Shalala just because I don't know if you know this song but the vibe is very different also on the Same album okay and this becomes relevant later on when I'm explaining so context so that was a little bit of um Shalala and that one is really interesting because towards the end she's screaming I need to start a garden and I love this because it sounds like the way that she's screaming it it's so like unhinged and it's literally like
(10:32) something has been Unleashed in her with these words and you can kind of tell especially through that song that a common theme throughout her music is that she's very capitalism critical and she's always kind of just urging us to step away from our phones and just wake the [ __ ] up in a separate interview on that podcast that I mentioned earlier she says that when Point she was sort of watching the music industry crumble and so she decided to Pivot completely and she was starting to get into foraging and herbalism and then some kids on Tik
(11:09) Tok kind of accidentally revitalized her music career I was going to say the bug collector is a huge song on Tik Tok yeah yeah yeah and I was I was going to say you probably know it because you're on Tik Tok but yeah so so then in November 20124 she finally released her long awaited sophomore album seed of a seed and on her website it says where hendrix's debut album I need to start a garden was about self-actualization and the excavation of the Soul her new album seed of a seed is now about protecting it hendrix's answer is by going inwards
(11:48) requiring a brave Solitude while also acknowledging that it's not done alone so if you ever go on her Instagram it pretty much just exists to promote her music and her tours but it's so far from being self-indulgent and it's actually almost unwillingly it seems like that she's posting in the caption announcing this album she says thank you kind stranger for believing in the power of artistry I am not a fan of marketing being on our phone promoting brands of any kind please let us throw our phones into the ocean and return to trusting strangers
(12:26) and believing that nothing is out to get you we all deserve healing kindness silence reflection and the culture at large feels like an antithesis of this please continue making weird art and resisting the darkness there were also some really good quotes in that podcast episode and she kind of again is joking about how much She [ __ ] hates marketing I'm like I get it because that's what we do for the Pod and anyway she she says people are tired of being sold things and she just wants to make quote unquote slow art she talks about how we have to
(13:05) be careful knowing what information you're filling into your brains and hearts all the time I'm just really worried for my generation just cuz we didn't get to grow up in a place without this much technology and I'm just watching it affect my friends and the people around me and then the host is kind of remarking like that must be hard that's kind of the again antithesis of this culture that you're so entrenched in and she says it's taken a lot it feels like trying to keep a vessel clean to some degree when you're just on your
(13:35) phone too much well you're not taking care of your health when you start worrying and your anxieties take over it's very easy to lose the root of tending to your practice to your Muse each song felt like a little lesson that took me a long time to learn so yeah there's just so much reverence and how she approaches her art and kind of just her whole life she's not doing the Mindless scroll that so many of us are never done that in my life yeah what me and she's filling her life with people and things that she loves and
(14:12) she's pondering these heavy questions and she's turning inward to look for the answers and she's just making really cool art about it how old is she she's our age really yeah she's like 31 no she's like 300 years old like even the sound of her voice I was like oh my God I know right she just there's too much wisdom there I was just going to say there's so much wisdom just packed in oh God yeah and by the way the song that blue is obsessed with didn't even play it for you it's called Gemini and she wrote it over the course of 10
(14:45) years and it was like this version of her writing this part and then it's [ __ ] yeah I'm not even going to get into that one but it's I think it's a really cool metaphor for how she approaches like her her music it's like this song is this living breathing ever evolving thing for her you know she's she slows down and turns inward and humbles herself by knowing that she's never done growing so for the main event I'd like to play you one of her songs called seed of a seed which is the title of her album I like
(15:26) avoiding Rel listening to it because like every time I sit there and I really really just like let the feelings wash over me it is overwhelming I love that this song is as short and simple as her message and she just says what needs to be said and nothing more but it's a short song so I'll just read through the lyrics uh or at least some of them if we don't know better well did my parents know better no but they tried cuz we all need a sense of lore sometimes like I need a silent mind in a consumer flood and if I'm lucky maybe a
(16:08) glass of wine and if I'm lucky maybe a hand next to mine if I get lucky maybe a simple life if I get lucky maybe some free time no if we don't know better if we don't know better well did my parents parents know better better no but they tried um okay so on this pod we reflect a lot on how little we really need in this life and I think that's why when she says if I'm lucky maybe a glass of wine if I'm lucky maybe a hand next to mine I think that's why it kind of completely [ __ ] me up when she says those lines
(17:00) as rational creatures we tend to over complicate everything and we box ourselves in with these rules and ideas of how things need to be and sometimes we almost become the source of our own misery when we do that but what if love is really just that it's just love and what if what if it doesn't have to be more complicated than that things get messy and life gets messy the world [ ] goes to [ ] and when that happens sometimes all we can do is just slow down and soak in that love that surrounds us I think another thing that
(17:43) just really struck me about this was our ideas of happiness and what a happy life looks like actually revolve so much around these really conventional ideas of success and what people have told us we need to be happy but through each one of our revolutions we start to undo that thinking and we start to figure out that a life where we slow down and just exist isn't boring it's lucky I don't even like why but when she says like a glass of wine I don't know it all of this made me think of a book that I had been reading in tandem with
(18:34) writing this story it's called the collected regrets of clover by Mickey Brammer have you heard of this so it's about this death Doula named Clover and she realizes that as comfortable as she is with death and all things related to death she doesn't actually know how to live her own life and so the whole book is just her trying to understand like what what a life Without Regrets really looks like and there's a quote in this book that says the secret to a beautiful death is a beautiful life I hope we all have the pleasure of finding
(19:11) out what a beautiful life means for us in this lifetime so we can exist in that Bliss as it's happening because it's usually a lot simpler than we think maybe our parents and our parents parents didn't quite get it right but they tried and all we can do is try too so thank you Haley hendris for pushing us to dream maybe not bigger and grander but maybe actually slower and quieter and with a whole lot more love I also really like and if I'm lucky maybe a glass of wine and if I'm lucky maybe a hand next to mine
(20:15) because who do we know that doesn't have those things like we all have these small gorgeous Treasures in our life and the song is saying like that's kind of all you need yeah I love that she does doesn't even she doesn't try you know how we [ ] love to talk and just keep talking like if I wrote this song it would have been like I love when we are next to each other you know like context here's what this line means you know like [ ] but yeah I think the the Simplicity of the sound and the lyrics it says so much more than a
(20:55) long-winded essay about love mhm yeah I feel like that is something that I'm really trying to adopt myself this idea of how how fulfilling a slow life is there are some people that don't have the luxury of being able to indulge in a slow life and look at me with all of this time and I'm working on like letting go of like no I need to do this I need to accomplish this I need a big huge Adventure ous Whirlwind of a lifetime but it's like those moments where I'm like on a walk with Lou and this guy is nice or I am on
(21:43) my couch with like a very warm blanket and a cup of tea and I'm reading a really good book and I just feel at peace like my God those moments are so gorgeous and I'm so lucky no one dies wishing they sped through those moments and wishing they did more of like the big crazy flashy things it's those are the little moments and I think if we can just witness it in real time what a gift that is MHM mhm that's all I got sick love it was love related yeah there was like love in there yeah what was the last paragraph well did my parents
(22:28) parents know better better no but they tried which I could [ ] get into we get into that one but we're not going there today we're not listen to our last episode yeah Jesus actually yeah but and I mean this in no offense I'm sure sauna is going to be like you didn't know better you know I want that I would hope that she is better right yeah it's an Ever evolving Journey mhm this [ ] song I swear to God like we could really get into it mhm but she wrote it short for a reason and here we are dude oh yeah hails Haley my
(23:13) Valentine this [Laughter] [Music] year what do you got for me okay kind of a big pivot love is in there don't worry okay um also a little bit longer so apologies but not really enjoy if you were really sorry you wouldn't have done it okay so as we know Valentine's day this week I thought what better way to celebrate than by talking about two soulmates falling in love pretty straightforward we're not overthinking this either we are not so as you may have gathered from past episodes I am a very Avid Reader you are book
(24:04) Girling you can read add me on good read I did I learned how to read last summer and I just I haven't stopped you know so that makes sense right so good reads book talk all of that [ __ ] that is it's my brand well about a year and a half ago my life changed dramatically because I ended up going down this pipeline that so many other book earlies have gone on before me and I started reading jione fanfiction oh yes yes go on so today I'm going to be talking about one of those fan facts a story that is quite literally
(24:51) like I don't give a [ ] if this is a hyperbole the best [ ] thing I've ever read in my [ ] life it is though no it the best no it is though I'm not even being sarcastic that's what I'm saying it's not a hyperbole this is genuinely the best [ ] thing I've ever [ ] read in my life masterful okay so what the [ ] are we talking about Draco Malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love by is the self-care otherwise known as brigit nightly is that how you say her name I don't know she sounds French so I'm
(25:27) saying brigit I don't know is it Bridget I don't know I assumed it was Bridget I'm going to go French but the lack of the D in her name is offputting yeah yeah we just lost all of France they were like oh [ ] next okay okay lot of contacts before we dive in buckle up enjoy this ride so for the less cultured let's just take it very high here and start off with an easy definition what is fanfiction yeah what is fanfiction what is fanfiction I did not dabble into this world until again a year and a half I no [ ] clue up reading fan no I didn't
(26:15) I didn't ah okay okay I'm too cool no I'm just kidding this [ ] is [ ] amazing I was ignorant okay so fanfiction is a genre of stories written by fans of a pre-ex existing fictional universe so like think of like Star Wars or Hunger Games and these authors use existing characters settings and pick and choose storylines from the original work and just create entirely new stories and they do this for [ __ ] free they're doing God's work they are doing God's work since the original work is copyrighted obviously these fanfic
(26:57) authors can't make make any profit off of their writing they are literally just doing this out of the love for this fictional universe and for their passion for storytelling crazy and like a gift to this world and even though these stories are not traditionally published and they don't have an agent and they don't have editors and they don't have these huge groups of people working to perfect these stories some of the best [ __ ] literary pieces I've ever read like it's insane and I think it probably has to do
(27:34) with like they just have the Liberty to create whatever they want they're not confined to page limitations or like what sells the most they can just tell whatever story they want and it's chef's kiss okay we've gotten fanfiction out of the way so what the [ __ ] is jione My Sweet Summer children don't know what jione is miny is a category of fanfiction written within the Harry Potter universe that focuses on the Romantic relationship between Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger Dramione what do you mean she ends up
(28:16) with Ron yeah it's fanfiction okay [ __ ] Ron sorry he's just so dumb he's so dumb like if you think about it a little bit more her minding Ron don't make any sense she's way too smart for him he's way too selfish and stupid yeah yeah sorry Ron you're catching a lot of Strays right now travesty okay going to be very brief on providing background for jione before we jump into the fanfic itself and honestly I don't even want to spend too much time on the original series because to be honest if you've never read the original books or watched
(28:54) the movies you can still dive into this F mhm and have the best time of your [ ] life that's true all you really need to know is that Hermione and Draco were classmates and Rivals at Hogwart School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Hermione is Harry Potter's best friend she's a muggleborn meaning that she was born to a non-magical family and just like happened to be a witch and she is the smartest [ ] [ ] in the entire world and has spent her entire life fighting for good the good side MH Draco Malfoy is a little [ ] he was this
(29:35) douchebag bully in school and he comes from wealth and privilege and is also known as a pure blood which basically means that his entire family lineage descends from this ancient magical ancestry so he's raised to think that he's better than everyone especially Muggles and his family sucks and they force him as a child to support an evil power hungry dictator but whatever so yeah two very opposite characters fighting on two sides of a war but even with all these differences again it just makes sense that these two would attract
(30:15) one another I mean you just you have this whip smart beautiful brainy girl and you have this morally gray mysterious wealthy boy who have so much to learn from one another and it's just it's the most perfect setup for a slow burn enemies to lovers romance it's perfect it's perfect they're meant to be mhm okay so Draco Maloy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love the moment that you start diving into jione fanfiction this will be one of the most recommended stories to you it is god tier in fanfiction universe and I've never
(31:03) heard a single negative thing about it it's just perfection mhm so this fic is set 14 years after the war after the original Harry Potter series ends life is peaceful people have moved on the tensions between pure Bloods and Muggles and the Muggle borns are long forgotten and this Fick is told through draco's perspective and in it he's in his 30s he's since outgrown his conservative upbringing and has fully assimilated back into society as an upstanding citizen he's still terribly wealthy and just to make the story even better he's
(31:50) obviously handsome as [ __ ] mhm ripped chisel jaw mhm piercing Silver Eyes you know just the fan art on this oh my God he works as an AER which basically means he fights against dark magic and dark Wizards for a living he's a good guy now but one thing that this author bit does so well is capturing draco's voice which is pompous and aristocratic and arrogant but you as the reader don't mind because he's also so witty and competent and smart and basically the perfect man because he's ridden by a woman MH so Hermione on the other hand
(32:47) is working as both a Healer in The Wizarding World and a doctor in a muggle world she is an absolute genius and this busy body and the definition of doing too much too much is on her plate she works in the hospitals in both worlds she runs This research laboratory in Cambridge she's incredible and these two characters are forced to work together when it comes to light that Hermione is on the brink of this major Discovery and she's doing a bunch of research and she's about to have this huge breakthrough that will quite
(33:27) literally change the world but it will anger some people and could potentially put her in danger so the ministry of magic is like no no no no you must be protected at all costs while you finish your research we need to provide you Aura protection and who is said bodyguard assigned to her case who pray tell the love of my life Mr Draco Malfoy so again perfect enemies to lover Story the two of them have an immediate dislike for one another when they start having to work together it's so good yeah there's just too much history
(34:18) there it's awkward it's Petty and the banter is just I just need to sigh and immerse myself back into the memory of the banter but they really have no choice but to deal with this Arrangement forced proximity you know darn a bunch of antics there is an actual really smartly laid plot to this fanfic it's so smartly done and it's so fun to read incredible it's in it's [ __ ] incredible God so in order to help with Hermione's research for whatever project she's working on they have to travel all around Europe and go on these crazy
(35:07) adventures quarreling with one another the entire time and it gen it genuinely made me laugh out loud multiple times which I have to say as someone as snobby as me that's a big [ ] deal I don't laugh very often same so just as an example of one small part that made me laugh my [ ] ass off there is a small plot where in order for Draco to keep tabs on her Mye he enchants this pair of rings it's like this family heirloom that he owns and these two rings they're wedding rings are kind of like bonded to one another so he asks
(35:43) her to put it on so that he can like detect how she's feeling like if she's in danger she can spin the ring three times and he'll automatically like apparate to where she is so she hates wearing it obviously she's like yeah I don't want to wear this right mhm so there's one point where they get into a fight she takes off the ring and then she sneaks away on this trip one of the trips that she needs to go on for her research and she goes to this like gorgeous Hillside somewhere historic in like the English Countryside so Draco
(36:19) basically hunts her down finds her at this [ ] Garden essentially and he's like put the damn ring back on Granger and she's like no I don't want you know cor cor banter ban Baner Baner ban so finally she gives in he [ ] grabs her hand he puts the ring back on oh came a voice some Muggle Walkers had just popped around the side of the Hill cries of delight followed an engagement and what a lovely couple and congratulations and what a beautiful spot for it D just so funny it's so funny okay so obviously as the two are
(37:04) forced to spend more and more time together Draco is so annoyed of her that he can't stop thinking about her H and all of a sudden he's like flirting with these girls and he's like they're not as bright as her and like H so obviously what's starts off as you know the strictly platonic professional relationship slowly morphs into a respected friendship kind of and then perhaps H something more so there are two scenes that I want to talk about okay the first one is from chapter 13 Solstice and in this scene Hermione and
(37:53) Draco have traveled to this small Seaside town in France because they need to steal this artifact for herm's research Antics Antics Antics great Antics though [ __ ] incredible the best Antics but the night before so they arrive in this town and they have dinner at this restaurant and the dinner ends up being an accidental date almost it's just the two of them so they check in at this restaurant again in the small Seaside town in France quote as it turned out the half-deaf old who had taken their reservation had
(38:30) creatively interpreted their names the Slate placard indicated that the table was reserved for hormone and crotch it's so stupid not necessary to this story at all I just had to put that in there it was [ __ ] hilarious no when I read that scene I was actually I was laughing so hard it's so funny again that was not needed for my story I just had to put that in there okay so anyway Hermione and Draco have this romantic Seaside dinner along this Warf food is delicious conversation is endless bantering is a given and as
(39:11) Draco is enjoying himself he suddenly grows quiet and confused because he realizes that he doesn't want to be anywhere else with anyone else and he can't stop his brain from thinking about how beautiful Hermione looks in this light and how smart and witty and good This Witch is and he's just like what the [ __ ] is going on like I I can't be feeling this way this is hermy Granger but that's the thing with attraction it is truly beyond our control we cannot help who we have feelings for as much as we try to control it so after dinner
(40:09) they walk to the beach during sunset so Hermione can see this landmark and the entire time that they're on this walk her mind is just yapping right she's talking about this fact and this historical anecdote doesn't shut the [ __ ] up but Draco just lets her one because he's still coming to grips over this realization and two because that's just so her to Ramble On and when you realize that you're starting to love someone you embrace all of these quirky Parts about them you treasure every second of it they meandered into a flock of
(40:58) hundreds of seabirds which took off around them and unraveled into the skies in a were of wing beats and SE cries it was a startling moment of Sublimity that took a bit of their souls with it Granger watched the bird's disappearance into the blue with a soft sigh her fingertips on her collar bone her lips parted Granger said beautiful and Draco said yes but they were not talking about the same thing so this whole time I've been talking about how these two characters are so different and so at odds with one another it doesn't make sense that they
(41:45) would work it's too complicated there's too much baggage there would be too much judgment but again your heart doesn't care about logic it doesn't care about what's easy or what's socially acceptable it just picks who it picks and you and your stupid brain have no choice but to Bear it and in this moment Draco is just so overcome with this realization that his heart is picking her and I think that's the heartbreaking part about love and attraction sometimes we fall for people that our brains scream met us not
(42:29) to there is such a fear of getting hurt of things not working out of feelings not being reciprocated and so you just silently struggle as your heart yearns for what your brain won't let you have that is the dichotomy of Catching Feelings how it can feel so good but hurt so bad so the last scene I want to go over is from chapter called Draco Maloy notorious aor and in this chapter everyone's worst fears have come true and a group of bad people attempt to attack Hermione while she's in her lab plot plot plot Draco Saves the Day
(43:18) Hermione is safe but after the whole episode Hermione is still reeling from what just happened so Draco brings her back to her house it's just the two of them and Draco is trying to calm her down because she's really shaken up and she's she's like basically going into shock and she's like oh my God that was so close like I tried calling you on the ring I didn't know if you would come at time they were like banging on the door I didn't know if I was going to be killed or hurt or what you know just yapping whatever
(43:58) like she almost died but like relaxed okay so they're in her kitchen drinking this calming potion and Draco tries to reassure her and he's like listen we caught the bad guys the wards held up your lab is safe no one got hurt and then he goes and I need you to know something else yes I will always come to you when you turn that ring and this is this is too much for her it's too much for me okay Hermione [ __ ] loses it bursts into tears and melts into his arms and Embraces him oh he' wanted this a distant part of
(44:49) his brain said [ ] finally uh honestly I'm just going to read I'm just going to [ ] read this okay so they're hugging right it was pleasure and it was misery holding Granger in that embrace it broke through whatever fortifications he' created in the last month with a crystalline shatter it made him want to say things blurt out things tell her that he'd missed her and that he'd wanted to to be with her more whatever that meant that he was quashing things because he wanted no part of those things but they existed still a
(45:31) teeming roiling unspeakable mess that these things tormented him in the small hours of the night when the world was quiet and he was alone with his thoughts that he would voice none of it because he was too afraid of risking the thing that they had right now this dance at the tip of a fulcrum this equilibrium he couldn't tell her this was not the time and and besides he wouldn't risk it it would change things and he loved whatever this was right now more than he hated the feeling that it wasn't enough pleasure and misery pleasure and
(46:12) misery Granger's breathing slowed the tension in her dissipated she sighed against him and her arms loosened from around his ribs and her hands were tucked into his chest and he suffered and he wanted to fly I think we all know how unbearable it is to love someone even when a relationship is easy the love is still overwhelming so just imagine how much more agonizing it feels when we love someone we think we can't have that we convince ourselves that we can't have it feels so weird
(47:21) to endure the magic of love and the pain of Love at the same time time we're so afraid to get hurt for our hearts to shatter to fall and yet as hard as it is I don't know that any of us would rather not feel it at all love is so many things but under our control is not one of them we can't help who we fall in love with but if and when they love us back oh my God how high do we fly what were the words again the don't make me start from the beginning pleasure and misery pleasure and misery so good you know if any of
(48:24) you listening started this out being like fanfiction loser I hope to God this changes your mind because this is truly one of the best literary pieces truly I have ever read like maybe the best maybe the best I know we are very dramatic on this time I'm not being dramatic right now no and can I also just say that because obviously this goes without saying we all hate JK rling oh I don't know who that is yeah no exactly but that's what I love about fanfiction the chance to reclaim mhm these characters and these
(49:03) story lines that once she writes it and it's out in the world they're no longer hers right I mean it's us to play with and enjoy and love that's why I love fanfiction because of that creative Liberty to to do that and like be like [ ] you in the meantime let's write something better let's expand on what was given to us and improve what but we've all looked back on and said M that's not that great yeah it's ours now yes and she hates fanfiction so [ ] you JK Rawling this though brait my God and and listen you're going
(49:50) to [ ] read this fanfiction and you're going to be like my life has changed yada yada yada taay us all the time okay you're like I need more I need more turns out brigit nightly did get picked up from a traditional publishing house because of how [ ] incredible this fanfiction is and she is actually coming up with a book this year in 2025 um so look out for it it's called The irresistible urge to fall for your enemy very similar Vibes to this one I literally cannot [ __ ] wait excited and it'll basically be somewhat of a
(50:30) retelling of this story you could tell this to me a hundred different ways oh my God I I will eat it up it's just so beautifully written beautiful funny engaging adventurous the best romcom I've have ever read in my life that's it that's it that's it that's it so yeah two soulmates they belong together I don't know who Ron is why do you keep saying his name yeah who is that I don't know there's there's only one man in my heart mhm loose like who I feel like I've lived so much of my life in my head and not as much in my
(51:08) body and it's only in these past few years that I've tried to be more in tune with how I'm feeling physically when an emotion washes over me okay and that feeling of falling in love it really is agonizing that feeling of your heart being squeezed there is a fine line between the pain and the pleasure of it it sometimes feels the same it feels the same and she captured that so beautifully yeah he suffered and he wanted to fly like appreciate [ __ ] you dude why would you that go to hell why would you write that so um I know
(51:57) fiction is kind of wild wild west we will put a link to this specific story in our show notes and you'll have access to it because it's free please download it please read it and you will see why these two characters have literally taken up so much of my [ __ ] brain I just think about them constantly it is magical in so many ways I love them they are also my valentines well thank you everyone for tuning in to our Valentine's Day special we always talk about love so was it really that different maybe not but
(52:39) it came out the week of Valentine's Day so so it was a Valentine's Day episode um thank you all for listening please rate review subscribe we are at beb crying. podcast on all socials our website is beb crying podcast.com you can submit a form there and tell us why you cried send a little sob story or give us some cry material and also sign up for our newsletter wear a hoot on there too we're just great all around you don't want to miss us anywhere so yeah thank you for tuning in we hope that you enjoyed we hope that as
(53:23) shitty as things could be that here on this couch with us you have a little fun you have a little laugh you have a little cry and you have fun we're tired we're tired that's it that's it so we're going to go and rest rest our little heads rest our little hearts and we'll come back next week we will ready to do it all over again yeah the same Stories the same thing but until then brb [Music] crying
Until next time…brb crying :’)