022: dad da dan
Nins gets sentimental after a phone call from her dad. Arns challenges our perceptions of self-worth through anime Dan Da Dan.
referenced in this episode:
Dan Da Dan season 1, episode 7: "To A Kinder World" (Netflix)
The Gentle Tarot deck by Mari in the Sky (clarification: she is Indigenous from Mexico based in Alaska, not an Alaska Native!)
0:00 - Intro
7:56 - Nins: call from Dad
25:03 - Arns: Dan Da Dan
46:20 - Outro
summary
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(00:00) hi I'm Angela Non I'm Ariana Kempis and this is brb [Music] crying hello everyone welcome back to BRB crying I'm Ariana also known as Arns and I'm Angela also known as Nins and today the two of us are here to Spill the tea on our spilled tears oh um yes we are two lifelong friends that love to cry and tell each other about it so welcome hope you're getting settled in mhm ready to feel those feelings feel those feelings and unpack them with us maybe have a little laugh or two way also we're really funny we're comedy
(01:05) podcast um yeah if this is your first episode ever welcome we've been waiting for you missed you missed you we've missed you this whole time but we're so glad you're finally here with us if you are one of our crybabies welcome back so um before we get started actually before we get started started I got a little something for you because it was your birthday oo please hold oh my gosh I obviously did not give a [ __ ] about the packaging I just put it in the first bag I could find but I almost forgot it but I just remembered
(01:47) it right now so for me for you what is this should I pop the bubble wrap yeah this is an ASMR mhm oh my God the gentle Tarot oh my gosh she got me a is this a Tarot deck yeah it's like a pocket sized one oh my god um and it's made by an I think she's an indigenous Alaskan artist this is so cool yeah I figure you know we're getting into our little spirituality era I thought it would be fun I personally have never really done tarot yeah but there's a QR code on the inside I think that gives you a whole guide on how to
(02:23) like the cards and stuff so this is so cool you know I was looking into tarot decks one of the things that I read was like you don't get your own stop they have to be gifted to you this is so pleas stop cool wait I have chills really yeah wait oh my God cry that's so that's so beautiful that is so beautiful oh my God I'm so excited this is the gentle tarot yes and I'm just reading the back of the deck here instagram.
(03:00) com Mari inth Sky m a r i um um I haven't opened the deck yet but the cover is gorgeous yeah it looks beautiful wow maybe we could like do a little like pull a card at the beginning of one of our episodes or something I mean I'm not going to know how to read it just yet no we'll just pull it and then you know let us know I didn't say we were going to do anything with it I just said we were going to pull it thank you AR this is so cool I'm so excited I just I never know what to get you because it's like cuz I'm just no because you're one of those people who
(03:27) like if you want something you just get it yourself no I'm you know I mean so it's like you know yeah but that makes for the best gifts yeah I guess happy birthday than you Birthday everyone everyone's favorite Capricorn Capricorn season well I think by the time this airs it will no longer be definitely it'll be in the thick of aquarius so yep yep yep but whatever it's fun to look back on yeah yeah all right I do actually have an announcement [ __ ] us up with it so if you listen to our last episode which was
(04:02) our season 3 opener you may know that we doing a little giveaway if you write us a review on Apple and or Spotify maybe both take a screenshot send it to us email it to us DM us and you will be entered into a drawing to win a BRB crying hat and just to clarify the review has to be a glowing one five stars come on obviously come on yeah cool cool and we're going to do the drawing at the end of February woohoo woohoo yeah which will be Pisces season pis season so yes get those reviews in it really does help us Indie content
(04:41) creators who are oh my Indie it really does help get the name of our pod out there and also we just love affirmations so if you want to tell us how great we are who does my God we'd love that I just feel like you're lying to yourself if you like I know can't what people think come on come on yeah okay that's all I got yeah that's all you got you've been good no okay that's fine yeah it's fine saa's been sick mhm she reverts back to like she was when she was an infant wakes up every hour at night at one point I was so mad I was
(05:20) like punching the bed I was like I hate this it so mad oh no yeah yeah so this morning we finally pulled her in bed with us after me waking up for the fourth hour in a row and she didn't sleep for at least an hour she was tossing turning and then she woke up at 6:45 a.m. yeah screaming oatmeal I want oatmeal eat oatmeal I was like what I this CRA this crazy so it's been it's been rough but I mean she's she's on the mend but okay I'm not so yeah how are you um I'm better than that oh good so yeah my birthday was this week and yeah what did you do
(06:04) well I went to there's like 50 people whose birthdays are in January in my family so your dad yes my dad Lucas Lucas my nephew and then my husband is like the very end of December so it's all and then me um we went to San Francisco and dinner at House of Prime Rib the best mhm so that was on Sunday before my birthday my birthday was on Tuesday and like I don't know I'm like 30 plus who cares it's like you're at the point where you don't remember how old you're turning I didn't have anything planned but it was just like a
(06:37) pretty like very low key day but like I just felt very loved the whole day like I was like oh wow there's so many people that are reaching out to wish me happy birthday and it just felt very nice yeah and then I just had just a dinner date with Lou we went to dong so good I just felt like oh God who cares it's my birthday but then the birthday came and I was like wait this is really nice so very appreciative of that and just been right in that sense you know yeah birthdays are important it's so easy to like brush it off I know
(07:14) you mean about like I never remember now what how old I'm turning but yeah it's still a big deal mhm I didn't cry on my birthday though not that kind of girly you know I know you are but we can't all be hurt that way so yeah nice I still think I'm like 25 though oh I'm 27 oh you're 27 yeah perpetually mine's 25 oh okay that's interesting yeah okay yeah we'll unpack that later yeah yeah okay yeah I'll pull the tarot card and then we won't know what it means [Music] exactly do you want to start us off uh H do I do you [ __ ] yeah okay o I got a new
(08:05) iPad case today oh the old one that I had I use my iPad all the time when I'm baking mhm and after this Christmas season my case was [ ] it was crusty it was nasty so I got a new one all right so personal story for me today we love a personal story and how they [ ] wreck us oh yeah um but mine actually might be short and sweet okay usually I'll write up my story and it'll be like four sometimes five pages this was like a solid two and a half so we'll see we'll see okay I know that's shocking for me um and also
(08:46) I was kind of lazy so I [ ] feel that so hard no elaborate [ ] no intro today either maybe maybe like season 3 we'll just do away with the oh you know like oh no if I'm in the mood I'll [ __ ] do it do it but today okay today uh I am going to be talking about a phone call I received from my dad okay oh no sorry okay so as with any topic let me provide some context on I guess who I am hello uh on January 7th 1992 it was a cold Thursday 93 yeah oh I didn't even get it right my God my God was it a Thursday age is a mystery babe
(09:36) wait was it really you know for sure it was a Thursday oh wow okay yeah all right well I think explaining some background on my family and my upbringing is important I know it's weird for me to explain this to you AR since I know nothing about you we've been together for 36 lifetimes together yes together we've been a couple we've been married each probably have been I think so I think so but I know that our feature on Apple podcasts has wait what wait tell me more we are featured on Apple podcasts comedy new and noteworthy comedy new and
(10:11) noteworthy and that has brought us some new listeners who have no [ __ ] clue who I am so hello welcome I love you and also hi I am a child of Philipino immigrant parents and in that regard my childhood and uppr bringing was a very stereotypical Asian-American one I know that like 95% of our friends have similar backgrounds but just in case you don't have quite a grasp on what that is to put it very briefly I think when our parents started their new life in the US there was such a strong survival mentality you know just go to work get
(10:56) food on the table provide for your kids and most importantly don't be difficult just be grateful for what you have and try to keep your head down and not draw attention to yourself and what do these kids do in return these spoiled American kids they grow up never struggling for basic needs they go to school and college and find these good paying jobs they they thrive and with all that time and energy left over these kids have something that their parents never had the luxury of experiencing they could prioritize
(11:46) emotional growth they could explore means of self-care they could indulge in the Arts and find their Hobbies they could just simply live slowly and I love my parents so much and I will very easily cry whenever I think for even just a moment about all the hard things that they've done just for me just to make me happy just to make my life so wonderful and comfortable but I also know that in this lifetime I am on a different kind of Journey than my parents I am learning a different set of lessons and the nuances in our mindsets
(12:44) are a bit more pronounced now that I'm older and there is this unspoken recognition that I feel and a bit of sadness that I think is there that since I'm an adult now I don't rely on them the same way that I used to and we all know how how important it is to feel needed mhm and dear listener even though you may not relate exactly to what I'm saying when this sort of cultural barrier or this very nuanced relationship that Asian-American children have with their immigrant parents I think we can at least all recognize that at some
(13:32) point we do grow up and we become our own people who lead our own separate lives so is that enough context for you for me you could keep going I mean I'm not going to stop you great thanks okay so back to this phone call on the most average of Tuesdays I don't even [ ] remember like maybe a couple months ago I'm working from home and it was my lunch break I'm eating leftovers good for you you know what I mean some people don't sorry just I feel really you know as an aside yeah yeah [ ] love a leftover yeah here's the
(14:17) thing you pay for a meal and then there's leftovers the next day those leftovers are free you just had a free meal your meal was cheap your whole meal was cheaper because it was split into two no no no the second one was completely free completely free you know what I mean all right so I'm eating leftovers for lunch I still have exactly 17 minutes before my next Zoom call and I'm just [ __ ] chilling right scrolling through my phone texting my friends thinking about my plans for the weekend thinking about my upcoming trip
(14:50) basically like me acting like the center of the world obviously you know I am and then all of a sudden my phone rings I glance at the screen dad is calling so naturally my heart stops you the wor too right yes okay obviously I don't know if uh I just said I don't know if you do this too you obviously do this too a medical emergency 100% so anyone with chronic anxiety knows the millions of questions that immediately race through your mind when you see that someone is calling you and that someone is your [ __ ] dad so here here's a little if
(15:29) you can't relate bless you also here is what was happening in my mind when I saw that why is he calling oh my God what's wrong what happened what do he need something's wrong right like otherwise he would have just texted me like did did is is he sick did he come back from a doctor's appointment is there a diagnosis is he dying is it my mom like you know what the [ ] is happening why is he calling every [ ] time right MH and I don't know why my anxiety just assumes the worst I think it's just like we've
(16:00) been conditioned to you have to be prepared at all times you just have to brace yourself and when this has happened before he'll [ __ ] call me I'll answer the phone he'll be like hey uh an uh what's what's the Netflix password again I'm like oh my God like Dad that is a textable question you know what I mean please but this time it's different this time after my mind races through approximately 86 worst case scenarios I take a deep breath and ever so bravely answer this phone mhm Hey Dad I say in like a super chill like relaxed
(16:48) nonchalant way so cool right now like just peaceful chill you know hey anoch how are you anoch means my child and T oh I'm okay just finishing up my lunch break before I have to log back on to work what's up why did you call again super chill call and my dad says oh no reason I just missed your voice my dad just missed the sound of my voice that's all I've spent so much time over the last I don't know decade micro analyzing the complexities of our relationship examining all my childhood and generational trauma with a fine- toothed
(17:53) comb and bracing myself to face pressured obligations bravely setting up boundaries and tight roping the line between keeping the peace and wanting to be heard walking around with my head up my ass basically thinking that I figured everything out and it's so silly because I've felt their love for me every second that I've been alive I've never doubted that and yet I find a way to over complicate it because very simply put I can do anything and I can think anything and assume anything and no matter what if it's been too
(18:47) long my dad will just miss the sound of my voice and it had been a few weeks since we last talked not cuz we like fighting or anything I was just simply off living my own life mhm and so he called me we talked about our weekend plans he tells me about babysitting my sister's kids and what he plans to cook for dinner he asks me about my day how's work how's Lou and pretty soon the phone call ends with time to spare before my next meeting the whole conversation and the feelings underneath it's too much and not enough all at
(19:43) once it's guilt and gratitude and longing it's regret and forgiveness and comfort it's so many things left unspoken and I'm not even trying to say that my relationship with my parents my dad is a bad one it's not it's actually it's so wonderful not perfect but so full of love but I do recognize that in my most selfish and self-centered moments I forget some times that they need me and I don't mean that in they need me to do this or pay for that or do all of these things for them I just mean that they need me period
(20:46) to feel whole to temporarily assuage that unbearable love that they fell for me from the moment I was born all the love and the feelings that we have towards our parents and they have towards us it it takes a lifetime to understand and to process and to even feel its magnitude so in between all the fervent calculations and critical analyses trying to pin down what it all means I think every once in a while it's okay okay to take a step back from all of that pick up the phone and ramble on about meaningless nothings because we know and feel what's
(21:43) really being said underneath that was beautiful I know that there's so much more you could say and with the overanalyzing and over complicating but it really can be simple sometimes I feel like there's so much that we feel that it overwhelms us it numbs us to the point where we can't even articulate I know that's what we try to do here but often times we kind kind of just skirt around it mhm cuz that's easier mhm that's more manageable that's that's keeping that well of emotions locked up and safe but we all know it's
(22:45) there I love that your dad said that I just wanted to hear your voice I think that that's incredible that he could even expr that Express that put that into words I think that I think that's a really hard thing to do just say what is simply there yeah I do feel so lucky to have that kind of dad who you know he's not a perfect man but I know that he tries mhm but yeah I don't know why my mind still wants to make it harder than it needs to be you know yeah assume the worst expect the worst nitpick and do all of this
(23:36) stuff but again I know that we're on different Journeys but you can align in those moments MH yeah it's a good one mine is actually there's overlap there always always is there always is MHM as soon as you said you were talking about like a phone call from your dad I was like oh my god really yeah I mean it's not not like that but okay um I mean I guess I could just talk about it every time over complicate it make it harder imagine a new way of saying what I have already written let me just hold on let me I I I want to soak in how beautiful of a
(24:27) shared moment that was because I think a lot of parents can't really they can feel it but you know it comes out in in these ways and there's a misalignment and for your dad to be able to say that and for you to understand it is really really special yeah yeah oo parent stuff oh yeah speaking of parent stuff have I got the story for you [Music] all right folks we're on a new iPad today oh we have multiple iPads none of which are mine okay who is this one this is my dad's oh Dads Dads love them you know lately my dad has been
(25:22) like I'll come over and he'll be like where's SAA and I'll be like oh she's not here he's like okay you walk so he's like like not even joking he's like I I want to see her though oh love that it's cool okay so like I mentioned earlier I'm doing away with the Frills okay we're just going to get into it okay I'll have my FRS back next week don't worry for those of you that love it I know that's so true I feel like people are probably split between the two camps of like what's the story just like oh my god well okay read our
(25:58) description and you'll know what the story is about my God yeah this is true um but also please be nice to us in your reviews five stars anyway for today's episode I'm stealing a story from my husband because a month ago Joie came to me and was like if you ever let me share a story on your pod I already know what I would talk about and I know you've asked me like oh he doesn't want to do like a soab story cuz you know alluded to this whole soab story and no Joie wants the glory of being on camera so until we get you
(26:31) know two more mics set up you know I fig I would I would take this you're going to steal it from him I'm going to steal it from him yeah okay yeah I know well I just I was so intrigued because me saying things that are not on my paper I was just so intrigued because he was like to get right to it let me over complicate this and say uh no you know no no no scrap that I'm just is going to read what I wrote no no no no lay it out you already started I already forgot okay okay so today I'm going to be talking about an episode from an anime
(27:08) called D to Dun okay has Lou watched this I think he might have I don't know cuz he was like oh are you going to talk about that episode and I was like yeah I am yeah okay so sorry me and Lou do not watch TV together so that's okay did he watch The Great British Bake Off with you no oh really you watch that by yourself yeah there's no love in this marriage clearly you know y all right so I'm just going to give some light background but my episode is actually focusing on a subplot you know how like with sure shows like this it's like they're
(27:45) they're doing something on this episode they're doing something on this episode doesn't have anything to do with the main plot okay um but I I figure I should probably tell you a little bit about the anime sure I mean it's probably important and also because I actually want to show you like a big chunk of the episode it's like a 16 minute long clip so I was like okay I better [ __ ] like keep my mouth shut and like you know not keep talking so I can actually you know M was pretty short we got a whole hour to
(28:15) fill I could feel it don't tell me I'll just read every single tarot card that I pull I'll just describe it this stupid all right so since this is show me story I asked him how would you introduce this and he was like okay so Dandan is a super popular anime uh it's kind of horny love that and that's that's it okay it's kind of horny but it's really good okay so the anime is based on a manga and it's about these two teenagers I'm just going to try to keep this as short as possible because as we often do on this show I really just like I really
(28:57) could get into it but oh but I love when we get into it I know but it's like not really relevant so I mean I can cut it just for me all right all right so it's these two teenagers who team up to fight aliens and supernatural beings okay and it's like funny it's quirky there's action and adventure horny but it is horny yeah so he actually said these are his his words it's super horny so for it to make you break down uncontrollably in the middle of an episode is like a punch in the gut I agree with this so a little more cook
(29:36) context we usually watch anime in Japanese as people should but Joie figured out that the dubbed version is actually a lot more emotional than just reading the captions translated from Japanese so so I'm watching an English don't crucify me yikes I know cancel someone's like deleting the entire five star review that they're in the midst of writing yeah so okay plot so there's this super hot girl named Isa but she's like popular in this way where she doesn't give a [ __ ] and I'm going to talk through the first episode because
(30:16) it's kind of more of an intro so if you don't want any spoilers at all probably don't listen to this segment just stop listening so she sees some this like nerd his name is Ken takakura she nicknames him okaron I'm not going to get into why that's too much but he's getting picked on so she stands up to his bullies and he's like oh my God am I going to have a friend so they strike up this conversation find out he loves aliens and like UFOs and stuff and she loves or she's like super into Supernatural and the Occult because she
(30:51) was raised by her psychic grandma oh sick yeah but it's kind of crazy like spoiler alert the grandma you think that she's like oh you know like old lady she's like the biggest tatas and like it's kind of crazy it's great horny horny again so in this first episode they don't believe each other Isa is like UFOs don't exist aliens don't exist and then okaron is like okay well like ghosts don't exist and so they're like okay well let's prove each other wrong and so they each individually go on missions I don't know why people do this
(31:27) he goes to this place that's super haunted and she goes to the it's like she goes to space yeah she yeah so she goes to this building that's like known for where aliens are like frequent that she just like went to Jupiter no no no no no she just has to go to this house down the street she has to get launched no so when they're doing this they're both like kind of like like this is like kind of scary and they're they don't go with each other no no no I know that's what I'm saying why do people do this you know but but they're like on
(31:59) the phone with each other while they're doing it and like they're having a pretty intimate conversation as it's happening so of course turns out aliens do exist ghosts do exist not just in the anime but in real life uh Antics Antics Antics spoiler alert at the end of the first Arc the villain who is this super horny ghost of a grandma I feel like I'm really not selling this but it's good it's good I promise but yeah so at the end of the first Arc she steals his dick and so that's how we end up on this mission to like get it back I'm so sorry
(32:37) I swear to God this is actually the first anime in a really in a while that I've really really enjoyed so no this is like selling it for me that's actually selling it for me okay so get it they're getting his dick back I have so many questions I have so many questions well no time to answer them if you or have questions to you just kind to watch it sorry I don't know what to tell you but that's how this unlikely friendship romance starts between them okay so this brings us to one of the arcs and it's episodes 6 and
(33:13) seven but I'm going to be showing you a clip from episode 7 and that is titled to a Kinder world so again haven't really spoiled much of the main plot but I will be spoiling this entire episode okay so if if you watched dedan you haven't gotten this point yet watch this first cry a little bit and then listen to this episode so a new character is introduced they're in high school by the way in this High School there's this really cute popular girl named IRA and basically something happens and she suddenly gains the ability to see
(33:51) spirits and they realize that there is a spirit following her around they nickname her the acrobatic silky the spirit yeah yeah yeah okay I'm not going to say why too much we're getting too deep but actually horrifying like she's a really scary spirit this is like the villain they're fighting in this Ark wait so only she can see the spirit or like the other two main characters can see too I think that they can see her too because I mean they must be because they're fighting her okay but acrobatic silky quote unquote is a mom likee
(34:30) Spirit who's been following around Ira for her entire childhood and she's really scary um I you know what I tried to put into words what she looks like and I realized I just didn't even know like what to like the words just Google it Google acrobatic silky Google episode 7 D D um the only thing I could write down is that she's wearing this sort of like red ballerina dress okay I'll show you okay costume no so The Arc culminates in a fight scene where isay and okaron are teaming up trying to take her down and
(35:08) save Ira from the spirit who again mom like spirit so she keeps calling Ira her baby and it's like really we she like oh my baby my baby it's IA was like the [ __ ] you're not my mom get away from me it's really weird okay and so in her rage the spirit accidentally killed Ira the girl oh bye yeah yeah bye and they find out that the only way for Ira to live is for the spirit to give Ira her Aura like to transfer her Aura and like what keeps her in existence transfer that to Ira so Isa who has psychic powers like her
(35:48) grandma she can act as a conduit to like transfer because plot plot plot plot uh and that's when we get to this part so I'm going to show you this clip it's going to be like [ __ ] 15 minutes that's fine okay get settled in okay so for everyone who wants to follow along I mean I guess you could skip to this or you could just watch the whole episode maybe episodes like six and seven or you could just watch dun from the beginning I don't you know you do you but I am showing nins episode 7 to a Kinder world and this is on Netflix I'm
(36:19) showing her episode 7 and you know Netflix does that thing where you can only see how many minutes are left and that's like your marker so we're starting around the six 1620 Mark 16 minutes left 16 minutes left I'm so sorry all right so I just showed n's the clip and I'll just talk through it briefly but so we're shown these Snippets of memories and a mom is struggling to make ends meet you can presume that she's working odd jobs she's some sort of sex worker just kind of Gathering money and she's cloaked in this
(37:01) bleakness but when she comes home at night her daughter is so happy to see her and you see the mom's eyes light up and you know that this child is everything to her and she's the reason why she does anything and the mom doesn't have much but she does whatever she can to keep her daughter fed and safe and happy and you can also kind of tell she's some sort of trained dancer maybe she was like professional we don't we don't know but she's teaching her daughter how to dance and they're dancing together in their living room and at one point the
(37:38) mom spies this beautiful red ballerina dress in the window of some storefront and so she scrapes together some money to gift it to her daughter for her daughter's birthday they don't have much but they have each other and that's enough then the evening of her daughter's birthday these men break into their apartment and you presume she owes them some sort of money U maybe they're collecting on on something but basically they beat her up and they leave her bleeding out on the floor and then they take her daughter and the mom runs
(38:11) outside in the rain but she you know she's looking for her daughter frantically but she succumbs to her injuries and there's so much bitterness and sorrow that it quite literally consumes her as this wandering Restless Spirit her memories sort of fade until all that's left is this longing that she can't quite place and then one day a little girl on the street named IRA tugs on her sleeve mistakenly thinking that the spirit is her mom who had just passed and the spirit recognizes that feeling and she's like yes that's right
(38:49) what I was missing was my baby I will protect Ira at all costs and that's when her rage consumes her and she trans transforms into the monster that's standing before them all so back in the present the spirit gives her Aura to Ira but then she begins to crumble away and they're like wait what's happening what's happening and one of the characters says with no one to remember her not the living or the dead she's Fading Into nothingness a life like hers didn't amount to much anyway and the first time I watched this
(39:24) that part broke me because people are so quick to to tell us that our lives don't mean anything unless we accomplish these incredible things at these huge Feats and we're so quick to believe them too this worthlessness consumes the mom and we see her painted as this monstrous villain who's fueled by bitterness and revenge for her loss but then as the memories unfold we learned that this facade is just an armor for the disappointment and the self-blame that's lurking beneath the surface so as she crumbles away her
(40:06) exterior cracks both literally and figuratively and at the heart of it all is this shame and self-loathing and she says I wish I were a better mom if you were someone else's daughter you would have been so much happier and at this point Ira knows how to save this mom from this nothing that you know she's succumbing to and how to give her life meaning she runs to the spirit and hugs her and she says the words that this mother needs to hear I love you I was happy the happiest in the universe and In This Moment acting as
(40:47) the spirit's daughter she is bearing witness to the spirit and she says I see you I see your love and it is enough and ra vows to remember this Mother's Love And as the spirit Fades away Ira says grant them peace guide them both to a Kinder world so the first two times I watched this I was like ugly crying like when I Was preparing this story I was like sitting there cuz I was like in the dark I was by myself and I was like like I couldn't breathe and I think so many things about this wrecked me but whether or not we're mothers there are so many
(41:26) times we wish we could be more or do more for the people we love and it's so easy to give into these feelings of inadequacy to fall victim to this narrative that we aren't enough as much as it's up to us to find that worthiness within ourselves we sometimes forget how powerful and healing others words can be we don't even realize how much our souls are just Longing To Be witnessed how much we need to know that our lives however small meant something to someone and that it wasn't all in vain so to anyone who needs to hear
(42:13) this regardless of what you accomplish or what the world does or doesn't think you amount to you love and so you matter super horny super super super horny wow I don't know how we keep picking stories that are so related that was the part that made me really sad because as the main character is acting as the conduit you get all of these flashbacks and so many of them are these like wonderful flashbacks of just a very happy child and if that's the objective past and you're watching this kid obviously very provided for and very
(43:11) loved how this Spirit clings onto this belief that she wasn't enough for this girl that's so that's so hard and it's so easy to recognize oh how could you think that about yourself but we do it all the time constantly we do it all the time yeah you know we always talk about selfworth having to really come from within and being able to be at a place where it doesn't matter what people think of us but like for the people we love it does matter it does matter what they think of us and it's even more complicated
(43:53) because it's so hard for us to express that for whatever reason even if it's a beautiful wonderful poignant thought we're so reserved and letting that person know this is what I think of you and it's wonderful but I just can't say it yeah so you hide behind other things smaller more meaningless things because you can't bear the weight of what you actually feel and then that other person is left wondering am I worth it am I worthy and I feel like in this case it was like I mean it was so clear like you were saying objectively that this
(44:35) daughter was having the best life like she didn't she didn't care about what her mom was or wasn't to everyone else but as much as that mom might have known that it's like after harboring resentment and bitterness and that wanting to avenge the loss of her daughter like after after holding on to that for so long she needed to hear those words she needed to I mean like there was no way for her to dig herself out of that hole and find that peace in her heart like she needed to hear like you were the best mom in the whole
(45:21) world so you know if you have things that you feel and you're not saying for people that you care about maybe this is a reminder to have the courage to let them know that maybe they need to hear it more than you think and if you're the one that needs to hear it and it doesn't exactly happen in the way that you wanted to or it's not said in the way that you wanted to I hope that there are moments in your life that show you that it's there even if it's not expressed I think we hide behind very easy words and easy actions
(46:14) but we know it's there [Music] yeah all right well comedy podcast comedy isn't it so funny God raffle it's a riot here thanks for listening yeah thanks for getting through that with us we really are it really is comedy like no like we really are funny we just also have a lot of feelings we do you know what's strange too is that I changed my topic oh really yeah I was going to talk about something else but then this one kind of swooped in and spirit was telling me switch it yep yep this will make for a more impactful
(47:00) experience overall yeah you'll feel [ __ ] up after but it'll resonate with more people but truly thank you all crybabies new and old for tuning in don't forget to rate review subscribe follow us on social media at beby crying. podcast send us your soab stories send us suggestions for Crime material you can submit a Forum on our website at beby crying podcast.
(47:31) com or you can email us hello beb crying podcast.com mhm thank you once again for listening to us sometimes they're heavy episodes hopefully next week which is the week of Valentine's Day you and I have a little bit lighter stories to share I'm not making any promises okay maybe I shouldn't assume I'm pretty excited about the story I have shared for next week okay definitely not as heavy oh should I should I change mine no no no no no it's okay I could we'll see don't over complicate it babe okay God well thank you once again to all of
(48:11) our cry babies um bye yeah bye that's it that's our show that's all we got that's all we got so I'm going to go [ __ ] decompress and unpack everything we just talked about because that was a lot mhm and then you and I will come back next week we will refreshed renewed recycled but until then brb crying [Music]
Until next time…brb crying :’)