047: justin bieber’s “everything hallelujah”, lilo & stitch, & choosing joy anyway

Written By nins & arns

Nins unexpectedly develops Bieber fever after hearing Justin Bieber’s “EVERYTHING HALLELUJAH” and spirals into a wildly emotional deep dive on healing, fame, survival, gratitude, and brushing your teeth while depressed.

Arns revisits Disney’s Lilo & Stitch (2002) and fully crumbles over found family, loneliness, belonging, and the devastating realization that Stitch just wanted to know he deserved love, too. 

Basically: two stories about choosing joy anyway.

Content warning: substance abuse, suicidal ideation, sexual assault

In this episode:

  • Justin Bieber’s rise to fame and public struggles

  • “EVERYTHING HALLELUJAH” and the psychology of healing

  • Why tiny acts of care can feel miraculous during depression

  • Lilo & Stitch as a story about grief, found family, and belonging

  • Why “Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride” suddenly becomes emotionally lethal as an adult

  • Ohana means family (we had to do it)

0:00 - Preview
0:30 - Intro
1:59 - Announcement: blind book swap in SF!
6:16 - Nins: "EVERYTHING HALLELUJAH" by Justin Bieber
30:29 - Nins: why I cried
43:20 - Arns: Lilo & Stitch
58:04 - Arns: why I (unexpectedly) cried
1:04:24 - Outro

Referenced in this episode:

  • Do I feel warm to you? I don't know. Cuz not really, right? No. It's weird though because I think I'm coming down with Bieber Fever. God. Cue the absolute banger of a song. Hawaiian roller coaster ride. There's no place I'd rather be. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You know, I [ __ ] know. Thank you for tuning in. Did you also have the time of your life or were you also infuriated as Ars was every step of the way? This episode was nasty. This is BRB crying.

    Hello everyone and welcome back to brb Crying. I'm Arns. And I'm Nins. And you just pressed play on Emmy awardwinning uh celebrated worldrenowned um Keep going. Number one. Mhm. Top of the charts. Top of the charts. Mhm. Podcast. Yes. Yeah. Welcome. Welcome. Hope you're excited to listen to your new two best friends. I was going to say our Emmy award winning. Um, your new two best friends get into the thick of their feelings, maybe shed some tears along the way, maybe laugh a little along the way. Hopefully both. Definitely both. Definitely both. What am I saying? Maybe. Yeah. Thanks for tuning in. If you're new here, welcome. If you're old here, welcome back. If you haven't had a chance yet to follow us on socials, we are at Berbby Crying. Podcast everywhere. Go and follow us. Subscribe to our newsletter. We also have some fun events coming up. I'm treading now into announcements. We actually, if you're here in the SF Bay Area, we have an event on Saturday, June 6th at our friend's little spot up in SF, it's a blind book swap. So, go and check our Instagram for details. I hope that everyone is really excited about the hard launch of this collab. Mhm. You were like, "Whoa, I was not expecting that." You know, like when you log onto a social and you're like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa." There's like an announcement. Yes. Pregnancy engagement new boo. And you're like, "Holy [  ] this is up there." We collabing with our friend Serena at Third Realm in SF. She has a third space there. What a cute name. Third Realm. And uh yeah, check the flyer on Instagram for details on how to RSVP. Love a third space. Love a third space. And we will talk more about this on our next recording. you know, share a little bit more about this event, but wanted to wanted to plug it now. But yeah, [  ] love a third space. Love a third space. We need more of them. We need more of them. You ever think about like sitcoms and how there's always a third space? Mhm. A bar, a coffee shop. I don't have that in my own life. I know. And I wish I did. I know. I'm trying. I know, right? If you're an SF, this is the per this is it. There's one here. I guess that just means we have to start one ourselves down here. This is my third space. This is my third space. This couch. How are you? I am feeling good today. Okay. I have been starting to do Chiang morning exercises. I've always wanted to try it. I found the Sweetest Monk on YouTube and it's been like really great. It's only like 10 minutes a day. Put it in the show notes and then DM it to me directly. I do it like before I eat breakfast. Okay. And like you know that truth where it's like yeah if you stretch and move your body you feel good. Insane. It's such a weird concept to me. Yeah. But every time I do it I'm like wo this feels really good. So it's like it's a really great start to my day and I feel like the energy like stays up. Wow. You know who needs caffeine when you got a monk? That's what I'm saying. I'll still do the tea though. But I was like feeling so good. I was like vibing. I was like getting grounded, getting centered for our recording. And then I tried to glue on this eyelash this morning. Listen y'all, she messaged me at our our planned recording start time. I am spiraling trying to put this eyelash on. I will be late. I was like, [  ] this. Like I don't even know. You should have just come with the one eyelash. Oh my god. So, yeah, I had a little bit of a a crash out trying to put on the eyelash. No one looked too closely today. I'm going to purposely like zoom out my shot because every time you talk, it's weirdly blurry around the eyes. It's like censored. It's like not great today, but whatever. We're just going to let go. Yeah, we're just going to let go. So, worth it. Yeah. How are you? How are you? Hopefully better. Yeah, I'm I'm a little I'm a little tired. Um, I think it might just be from eating a quesadilla though, you know, like just eating a lot of food right before this. Okay. I see. I see. Uh, but I have been exercising more, so I feel you on the like energy like being up, sleep being better. Yeah. God, I you hate to see it. You hate for it to work that way, but god damn it, every time. No, I know. I know. They're like moving your body is good for you. sleeping like an adequate number of hours a night is really good for you and then like eating fruits and vegetables really good. I'm like [  ] Yeah, it's so annoying. God damn. Yeah, you know. Yeah, but I'm good. Okay, I'm chilling. Yeah, must have been really good. Casadia. Yeah, Carneada baby. All right. Well, that's that's all I got going on. We got Okay, let's go. Let's [ __ ] do it.

    I know. I was just like saying that I feel really good, but I'm also feeling a little hot. Do you want to try turning on the air? Do you feel my Do I feel warm to you? I don't know cuz Not really, right? No. It's weird though because I think I'm coming down with Bieber fever. God, I knew something was up as soon as you said that into the [  ] mic. I was like, "This [  ] has something planned up her [  ] sleeve. Oh. All right, everyone. Say less. Your segment is done. Yeah. Your turn. Okay, let's go. All right, everyone. From the time of this recording, it has been one week since Justin Bieber headlined Coachella. Mhm. This year, I went to Coachella, as I do every year, from my couch. Coachella. Coachella, baby. Mhm. I stayed up pretty late to watch this like past midnight. Oh, just to watch Justin Bieber set both weekends. You really I don't know why. I genuinely don't know why because straight up straight up everyone I'm a [  ] fraud. Okay, I don't know why I did this crazy. Okay, I'm going to be the first to admit I did not grow up as a lifelong believer before this last week. I honestly don't even know that I could call myself a casual fan, which I know is insane and honestly disrespectful. Mhm. Yeah. Canled, but I don't know what it is. I never really took the time to listen to his discoraphy and look up his life. Really? Obviously, I knew the big hits, baby. Mhm. Which, fun fact, me and Arin's performed at one of like the acoustic nights at her high school. Tore the house down. You know what I mean? But you know what I think it is? I think I still vividly remember when Justin Bieber dropped the one time music video back in 2009. He was 15 years. Do you remember watching this music video? M I don't know. Uh me and Marty, I don't know why, we would watch it all the time. Okay. And he was 15 years old in it. He looked fresh out of eighth grade. Yeah. So young with like his little like bull cut. And I was a sophomore in high school. So I was like really grown, you know? I was like, "Oh, he's just like way too young for me." Baby. Yeah, exactly. I mentioned this a couple episodes ago. I was into like cool indie emo music things that people had never heard of, you know what I mean? So, I was in love with the likes of like Adam Brody and like, you know, pop star extraordinaire. Yes.

    He he like fits that vibe though, you know, that aesthetic. So, I think because of that, I always view Justin Bieber and his music as like too young for me. That's exactly how I feel. And I'm the reason why I deprived myself from that joy. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was in my head. It's not for me. Like it's very young. It felt very young. Yes. Because he was like very close in age to us, but a little bit younger. He's literally one year younger than us. Yeah. No, he felt like maybe 5 years younger. Right. And I like Okay, you and I are in our like early 30s. I still am looking at someone like, "Oh, she's two grades below me." Mhm. Yeah. Forever. Mhm. I'll be like 79. Like, oh, she's like 2 days below me. Anyway, so to all you believers out there, please do not get too riled up, okay? Because I understand now. I am paying my dues. I caught the bug, okay? I am now sick with Bieber fever. So, don't mind me as I get to the very back of the line. I know it's a very long line. I will say though that before this week I actually did listen to his swag album that came out last summer. Did you ever listen to it? Probably. Okay. Like Yukon and like Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I liked it. I was like okay. Yeah. It's the vibe. Um and then two months later he dropped another album, Swag 2, and that thing had [  ] 44 songs on it. Can't say I listened to it all. No, exactly. I think I was so overwhelmed by the amount of songs on that album that it deterred me from ever pressing play cuz I think like if an artist comes out with an album, I'm like, "Oh, I need to listen to it from start to finish the way that the artist intended." And then if I don't have the time, I'm like, "Ah, I can't I can't possibly do it." You know? Exactly. So, I never gave it a chance. Again, that's on me. Everything's on me. It's all my fault. All your fault. So, here I am in the middle of the night, two weeks in a row, watching Bieber's set. I don't know any of the [  ] songs. Yeah. But there is one song that he sings that has me stop playing my little mobile game as I'm sitting on the couch multitasking. Multitasking. Watching a show and playing my little game. And it's one of those songs that when you're listening to it for the first time, you think sounds really nice. I don't know what you're singing about, but I do know that it gave me pause and I was like, huh, okay, I'll add that to my to my playlist. So, it wasn't until the next morning where I decided to listen to this particular song again while eating breakfast, looked up the lyrics as the song played. Uh, crying over my yogurt parfait by the end of it. Love it. Tears in my Icelandic provisions. A little salty, little sweet. Yeah. I have listened to this song a few times a day for the past two weeks. Oh, okay. I am still crying over it. Was finishing up my story. Still crying over it. Okay. And it doesn't help that it's also like trending on Tik Tok right now, but the trend is more funny. And I'm like, you guys, you don't understand. The song is so beautiful. You're not getting it. It's not It's not clocking to you. You know what I mean? It's not clocking to you. So, without further ado, let me talk for 30 more minutes, please, before I play and break down the song Everything Hallelujah by Justin Bieber. Sources for today, a 2010 Billboard cover story by Monica Herrera on the life and times of Justin Bieber up until he's like 15 years old. a 2020 documentary entitled Justin Bieber Seasons. A follow-up documentary called Justin Bieber Next Chapter, also released in 2020. A 2022 article by Lisa Resper's France for CNN. And a few Tik Toks by one of my favorite pop culture analysts. Is it the right word? Okay, straight up. I'm just going to talk a lot here about As we do. As we do. I'm just going to I have to share all this context. You must for the song to properly destroy you, you need to have this background. Okay. So, Justin Drew Bieber, born March 1st, 1994. My sister's birthday. I know it is your sister's birthday. You're basically related. Yeah. Pisces sun, Libra moon, Scorpio rising. Okay. I see that. Scorpio. Basically, what that means is that he's empathetic and artistic with a strong need for harmony mixed in with naturally magnetic aura. Okay. That's Justin. That's it's [  ] Justin. Mhm. And then there are people like, I don't believe in astrology. Hello. Shut the [  ] up is what I say to that. Okay. Go on. Born to teenage parents, Justin had a very humble upbringing. Mainly raised by his single mother in Stratford, Ontario, Canada. Again, Canada, you guys. Canada, good. We love you so much. Number one fans. Okay. From an early age, he had this natural affinity for music. He played piano, guitar, the drums, the trumpet, but he absolutely loved loved loved to sing. His mom would often record videos of him singing covers of R&B songs and she would post them on YouTube so that she could share them with family and friends. But this was early days of YouTube. YouTube started in 2005. She was on that thing like with the times uploading her little videos. Hell yeah. And even though it was meant for like sharing with people she knew, little did she know it was going to [  ] catch on like wildfire because all of a sudden he was getting millions and millions of views just for like these cute little covers of him on the guitar. How old was he at that point? 2005 9 10 So like 11. 11. Okay. Yeah. So his videos start popping off and it catches the attention of one Mr. Scooter Braun. I don't know if you know who Scooter Braun is. He is a talent manager, I guess, among other things, who represented a few people you may have heard of. Ariana Grande. Who? Demi Lovado. Nah, there's there's some reputation behind Scooter Braun. I'm not going to get into the lore of Scooter Braun. Just know I have thoughts, but I'm just going to keep going. Okay. So, Scooter Braun discovers Justin Bieber. when Justin Bieber at this point is 14 years old, flies him out to Atlanta to record a few demos, gets him signed to these big fancy music labels, and pretty soon Justin's entire life is completely changed because holy [  ] [  ] he is now a worldwide teen heartthrob sensation. Not for me though, cuz I was like too cool. Way too cool. You know what I Mhm. So for the next year, so he's like 15 at this point, he is all over the [  ] place, dropping singles and then working on his full album, going to rehearsals, performing at events, going on talk shows and radio shows and going to photo shoots and filming music videos. It is [  ] wild. Mind you, he's still a teen at this point. What the [  ] was I doing at like 15, 16 waiting to get my braces off? You know what I mean? It's always braces related. Huh? It is always like really scarring and like honestly ineffective. God. Okay. By the time he's 17, he's basically on this cycle of make an album and then go on tour. So from 2010 to 2022, okay, 12 years, he creates seven albums and goes on four worldwide tours that on average had like 150 shows each. And on top of that, he's trying to navigate teenagehood and his early 20s, relationships, and the pressure of being one of the most famous musicians in the world. Who the who the [  ] could handle all of that? I mean at this point he has reached a level of superstardom that the average human mind cannot even comprehend let alone live. You know I don't think that anyone can experience that level of fame without it eventually becoming a traumatic experience. We see this all the time with the celebrities that we love. Mhm. So, we start to see signs of his mental well-being start to waver when he's around 19, 20, like 2013, 2014. Lots of controversies, him being abrasive and volatile in public, intoxicated, fighting with paparazzi. He gets arrested for some DUIs. And it was so [  ] up. Like when he got arrested for his DUI, there was like a petition to get him deported back to Canada. Like just people being [  ] terrible. It had like 200,000 signatures just for [  ] stupid reasons. Whatever. The highly manufactured cleancut image he had in his youth gone. We have entered bad boy era. This was also during his very tumultuous and highly publicized on-again off-again relationship with Selena Gomez. I know that stand culture can be very weird and very parasocial about the personal lives of their favorite celebrities. And whenever it comes to shipping people thinking that you as a fan who doesn't know them has any say or opinion on the inner workings of private relationships, it gets [ __ ] out of control. It's way out of hand. And I have never seen anything like it when it came to Justin and Selena. Mhm. Crazy. Crazy. I mean, even to this day, you'll still have people who have things to say about it. But all this to say, Justin was very much spiraling over the next few years. In prep for this story today, I watched a YouTube documentary posted on Justin Bieber's official YouTube account. It was a documentary called Seasons, and it focuses on the making of his 2020 album, Changes. In this doc, people in his close circle are asked questions about this time in Justin's life. And his wife Haley Bieber says, "I think when you take somebody very, very young and they start to get horrible, crazy, crippling anxiety and it goes undiagnosed and you don't know what it is that you're feeling, you start to self-medicate because it makes you feel better, just helping you not to feel anything." In this documentary, Justin talks candidly about his drug use and how he viewed it as a means to escape. He did not want to feel. He did not want to process and it led him down this very dark and lonely path. I want to share an excerpt from the last segment of this documentary which is called the next chapter. It was it's like the documentary came out and then eight months later they like did like a almost like a postcript like followup. Um and this is where the segment is taken and in it Justin is showing his team the music video for one of the songs on this album called Lonely. So this is at the 15minute mark of this segment.

    Sorry, I should have mentioned this in the beginning, but please check the content warnings in our show description because we do talk about some pretty heavy topics here. But in the segment that I just showed Arn from this documentary, Justin explains the concept for the music video for Lon Lee. And basically a young version of him is getting ready to perform at one of his thousands of shows. And it's a kid essentially just like looking at himself in the mirror feeling so deeply alone despite being surrounded and adored by millions of people. Justin talks about how isolating it was to be this kid. having people all around the world tell him one that they love him or two that he sucks and that he looks like a girl and all of this and how with all of the negativity that he would get, he would try to brush it off, but obviously it did affect how he navigated through the world. He reveals that in his darkest moments, he thought about ending it all just so that he wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore. He said at another point in this documentary that the drug use and the self-medication got so severe that he would literally have assistants check his pulse throughout the night because they did not know if he was going to make it another day. Like that's how that's how dark it got. I'm not quite sure what inspires him to do so, but at some point, Justin makes the decision to get sober. This is around 2017, and this is also when he and Miss Haley Baldwin decide to lock in for life. Was that long ago? Yeah. Oh my god. I know. They were like 22 years old. It was actually very fast. I There's all these different like quotes of them like laying out the timeline of their relationship and people have theories about are they telling the truth. I'm not here to do that today. Okay. But Justin and Haley get married very quickly and this new found stability in Justin's life does [  ] wonders. I have a lot of respect for Haley. As of like 2 weeks ago, you weren't a road girly. You didn't have a road lippy. I have one in my bag. Do you? Yeah. Do you have a phone case? Because No, I don't. I've thought about it though. They're so cute. They are really cute. Okay, so this documentary is like 2 years into their marriage and it's like him talking about how this is such a healing and peaceful chapter in his life. Him starting off this new married life and him making this changes album. But we all know that healing is never linear. There are setbacks. There are tests. There are still some really hard [  ] days ahead. After Justin releases this album in 2020, he announces this massive world tour only for it to be delayed by 2 years because of CO. And then about a quarter of the way through the tour in 2022, his health starts to decline. You know, the whole like let's go to 50 different cities in two months. It like takes a toll. What? That's on your body. I don't know. I'll send him my Chiong videos. Hopefully that Yeah, that'll help. Um, he gets diagnosed with Lyme disease, infectious monucleiosis, and Ramsay Hunter syndrome where legit half of his face is completely paralyzed. M I have a theory like you know when your body holds so much trauma that you don't necessarily have a means to unleash it will find its way out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yes. So I feel like this is exactly what that was. Yeah. because of his health issues, he had to cancel the entire tour resulting in like $200 million of losses. So, some financial setbacks and I think there were some other things happening with his team and I don't really know the details. I don't I'm obviously like not owed an explanation like no one is owed an explanation for what really happens. email us and tell us. Write in. But he ends up basically like selling his entire discoraphy. Oh [ __ ] Every single song that he And like obviously there's like, you know, weird contractual stipulations that I don't really know too much about, but yeah, he like sells his entire discoraphy from everything before 2022. So then another two years later in 2024, we see an uptick again in some of the volatile behavior from Justin throughout that year. This is all speculation, but rumors about his relapse start coming out and many people are drawing the connection between the timing of his relapse and the news about P. Diddy and the disgusting, awful sexual abuse that P. Diddy inflicted on so many in the music industry. Justin's team has denied that Justin was ever one of PD's victims. So any claims are again speculation. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. And honestly, we again as the public are not owed an explanation. We are not owed the truth. Okay? Because regardless of what really was the root cause of this, you know, I don't even want to call it setback, but this chapter in Justin's life. There is no denying that this industry exploited him, overworked him, deprived him of a normal, safe childhood. And I think he was forced to really reckon with this once he and Haley announced that they were expecting a baby that same year. For people who have experienced complex childhood trauma, becoming a parent is probably one of the most triggering, complicated experiences to go through. I can imagine that Justin looked at his son Jack Blues Bieber with so much love and awe and this primal need to protect his son and then in that same instant wonder why no one came to protect him. I think that Justin was very publicly struggling and there were so many people genuinely concerned that he might not survive this time around. But a year later, Justin releases his next two albums, Swag One and Swag 2, in the summer of 2025. And then the following April, he headlines Coachella and shows the world that after everything this life has thrown at him, he still dares to live, to love, and to heal. So after all of that context, we can now fully appreciate the beauty of his song, Everything Hallelujah, off of his 2025 album, Swag 2.

    You would think I would not cry after listening to it non-stop for two weeks. No. Okay. So, this song, this gorgeous, gorgeous, beautiful ballad is a simple song of gratitude and celebration. In the lyrics, Justin sings about small everyday moments that he is grateful for.

    God, his baby crawling on the floor, going out for a walk with the sun out, kissing, dreaming, and looking at the people he loves. All of it. Everything. Hallelujah. Knowing how much pain Justin has experienced over the course of his life, it is a a miracle. It's a miracle that he is still able to feel gratitude for these beautiful things in his life. What a testament to the power of healing. of choosing yourself, of refusing to give in to the darkness. I think this song shows us that the act of healing isn't just getting to the end where everything is done. Everything is normal again. Healing is slow. Healing is a cycle. But every step we take in pursuit of it is something worth celebrating. At the end of the song at the end, [  ] Justin starts [  ] listing all these things that he's grateful for. I'm just going to [  ] read it. God damn. This is why I'm not a believer. God. Mom and dad. Hallelujah. Hey, babe. Hallelujah. Baby Jack, hallelujah. Oscar Piggy, hallelujah. Those are his dogs. I I figured. God damn it. The [  ] is this [  ] Justin, delete this. Brand new day. Hallelujah. Brush my teeth. Hallelujah. Take a swim. Hallelujah. Can we stop? When can we stop? I'm almost done. to brush my teeth once. I have a whole [  ] paragraph on that [ __ ] mind.

    Then [ __ ] finish that. God. God. Take a swim. Hallelujah. Everything. Hallelujah. Go outside. Hallelujah. It's beautiful. Hallelujah. It's raining. Hallelujah. Breathe the air. Hallelujah. I'm singing like hallelujah. Dancing like hallelujah.

    Those lines, brand new day, hallelujah. Brush my teeth. Hallelujah. That's the one that [  ] up my yogurt parfait. Okay? Because when you are in the depths of depression, the last thing that you want to do that you feel worthy of doing is taking care of yourself. Why the [  ] would I even get up out of bed to brush my teeth? I don't even want to be alive. But on this brand new day, he did. He got up. He brushed his teeth. And thank you God for it. And I love I love how he ends it with I'm singing like hallelujah, dancing like hallelujah. During his Coachella performance when he's reminiscing on all his old videos where he's like pulling up his covers and playing them on the screen, he talks about how those covers online changed his whole life. He said, "I was just a kid who loved to sing. That was it." And I can see how this thing that he used to love became his captor. But here he is in this song, reclaiming it and finding joy in it once again. I know the life of a global superstar may be far removed from our realities, but there is something to be said and admired and honored by the way that Justin has shared so many parts of himself to us to inspire, to encourage, to remind us if he can, maybe so can I. So with that, in the aching moments when everything feels a little too heavy, when the noise in our minds gets loud and we're not quite sure how to move forward, I hope that when we too feel that we've lost our way, we let this anthem, this beautiful holy hymn, remind us to take it one step at a time. Maybe today we stay in bed, but who knows? Maybe someday soon will be a day full of dancing in the sunlight, brush teeth and all. And to that I say, holy [ __ ]

    god damn it. It's always those songs, right, where it's like the simplest. What are you doing? The worst the worst songs. The worst songs. Don't ever I don't ever want to [  ] hear an acoustic cover again. What the [  ] I cannot imagine. I mean, you're right. We have seen it time and time again. the way this thing that is so coveted, fame, wealth, how it [  ] people up, especially when they're kid like I mean I was thinking about so many different things obviously Justin but all the other like I was thinking about like the Nickelodeon documentary you know like all that all that stuff like my queen Britney Spears no everyone all of these people you And it's just not, you're right, it's not normal. I see this a lot online about how like we are not meant, our nervous systems are not meant to handle this volume. Mhm. And this volatility and the people who dare [  ] on a [  ] 15year-old like like shut the [  ] up, you know? That's crazy. It's crazy that people did that. crazy that they thought it was okay and that he just kind of had to pretend he was fine. Like, yeah, of course he was [  ] I I don't think I realized the extent to which his mental health had declined and his drug usage had just overtaken him because there are so many stories like that where it ends the other way. Yeah. Thank you for that context because it does make him writing performing this song existing period just so much more miraculous. Miraculous. That's what it is. Yeah. And I think what is so beautiful, maybe tragically beautiful is that he's going through this. It's miraculous that he's still alive, that he's still here. And then he has the nerve to find meaning and to gift us with this art as a way to maybe help other people. There was a quote I I wrote it down, but I didn't weave it into my story, but there was a quote in that documentary where he was talking about like losing sight of what he was meant to do. M he says, "I think what's been challenging over the years is a lot of the times I'd make music and it would be for me. When the focus and the goal is about yourself, you kind of tend to lose your purpose in that. I think the older I get, the more I realize that I'm not utilizing my gift, I feel for the right reasons. This isn't about me. This is about helping someone going through whatever they're going through and and being able to talk about that thing. Babe, it is about you though, you know, like, but I think that's the thing with healing. It's like when you light your path, you're lighting that path for others along the way, you know? You see your broader purpose as a vessel for whatever needs to flow through you in the way it needs to flow through you. That's like a whole other level of existing. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I love that you brought up the enigma of fame, right? Like how us mere mortals like have no no clue what it's really like. And yet in this moment, what is Justin grateful for? His son, sunlight, music, like the things that we would answer. Yeah. He's just another [  ] person at the end of the day. Like it's easy to get caught up in, oh, I want that though. If I had that, I would never like spiral like that. Like, I would just be grateful to Yeah. Well, then be grateful now. Like, because you're right. It's the same [  ] [  ] You already have that, you know? Like, Justin Drew Justin Drew believer. Can I call myself that now? That's what I'm saying. Props to Haley, dude. Bro, don't even get me started. Love her. [  ] angel. Yeah. Should I pull up my road lippy? Should I sponsor us? Sponsor us. But yeah, I just love like the the message too of just being grateful for all of these really small things that you think don't mean [  ] But it means that you're still here. It means that you're still alive. It means that you're still going. It's like at the end of it all, you experienced everything. Like the most fame, right? Like you've seen it all from the top and yet what you come back to is you see it all from the top and from the bottom. Yeah. The highest highs, the lowest lows. Yes. And it doesn't change how much gratitude we should have for all of it, big or small. Yeah. When I brush my teeth tonight, dog. God damn it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. It's so funny that you also crumbled at that line the way that I was [  ] losing it. Well, because that's exactly what you said. It's the most [  ] basic of things. And like what a what a [  ] thing to be grateful for. Something that you would never be grateful for on a normal [  ] day. something that you would call a chore on any other day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You [  ] get it. Shut the [  ] up, Justin. Shut the [  ] up, everyone. Put your [  ] guitar away. God damn it. It's just one of those songs where like I will sit here and cry about it if you don't [ __ ] cut me off. Cut me off.

    Hard pivot. Sure. welcomed. No. Oh, maybe in a way, but in a way. And also not. You know how it is. Okay. You know how it is. All right. All right. So, as an indie podcast, I know we love to cover more like obscure things, a poem, a text, Justin Bieber. Who was that? Uh, you know, a Germany fanfic. Yep. A museum exhibit, stuff like that. But just like how you can't always choose who you love, you can always choose what makes you cry. We don't choose the story. The story chooses us. Mhm. That's how we end up covering things like Titanic. Mhm. Justin Bieber. Mhm. Today I have one such story that found me. It is both ultra mainstream in that everyone has watched it at the same time not at all on anyone's radar because it's a 24year-old children's animated film. Okay. And that such film is Lilo and Stitch. Okay. As an FYI, I am not talking about the live action that came out in 2025. Bunny crab. I don't I there was so much criticism about everything. How it warped the original messaging, how they completely changed the ending. I didn't even bother watching it. So, for all intents and purposes, we're not touching that today. Live action Lilo and Stitch and Scooter Braun over there. Yeah. Yeah. Table it. Table it. All right. So, when I first watched Lilo and Stitch in 2002 as a mere 10-year-old, I didn't really get it. I was like, "Okay, so a girl makes this alien friend." Like, cool. Mhm. Kind of weird, but cool. And then I watched it again maybe seven years ago. Sobed as an, you know, I was an adult. Yeah. Yeah. And a few weeks ago, Sana was on spring break. So, guess what? We're pulling up Lilo and Stitch again because I know what I'm getting into. Except I did not prepare for the flood of emotions that came at the most unexpected time. Because it turns out in just those seven years since I last watched it, I guess I grew a little. And like we always say on this pod, the way you relate to art is so dependent on where you are in your life. Yeah. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's get into the cook context. Spoiler alert. This is a 2002 movie. If you haven't seen it, I don't know what to tell you. I'm ruining it all. So, Lilo and Stitch is a 2002 animated Disney film. And while I know that literally [  ] everyone has already watched this, I don't give a [  ] So, we're going to start with the opening scene. We have a six-year-old girl in Hawaii. Her name is Lilo. In this first scene with Lilo, we watch her emerge from the ocean. She's sprinting to hoola practice. She's late because she was busy buying peanut butter to make a sandwich for Pudge the Fish, who she believes controls the weather, she must feed him. So, she slips in to the dance rehearsal while they're practicing. But since she's dripping with water cuz she just came from the ocean, the stage is now completely wet. Everyone's so [ __ ] pissed. And this is what Leela's life is like. She has these hobbies or she does these things that other people perceive as dark or strange or weird, but because she would rather be weird than blend in, all these other girls reject her. No one understands her and she has resigned herself to a lonely existence. On top of that, her home life chaos. She lives with her sister Nani and there are no parents around. So, you can presume early on that Nani is her caretaker. But since Nani is so busy running to her different jobs around town, trying to keep it all together, their place is so messy, it's neglected, everything is on the floor. And after that disastrous hoola scene at the beginning, Lilo in her depressed state, because again, you know, no one cares about her, no one wants to make an effort with her, everyone thinks she's weird. She locks herself in the house and she like nails the door shut and Nani cannot get in and Nani is panicking because the social worker is about to drop by. But when she sticks her head through the little doggy door, all she sees is Lilo. She's like sprawled out on the ground really dramatically. And Nan's like, "Girl, we don't have time for this. The social worker is about to be here." And Lilo is like, "Leave me here to die." And she's like has her Elvis record on. Mhm. And alas, the social worker, Mr. Bubbles, comes and he is not happy with what he finds. So, we're going to watch a little bit just to give you a taste of what the household is like. And this is at the 17minute mark.

    All right. So, in this scene, we see there is a pot of spaghetti on the stove bubbling over. There's food all over the kitchen. I've like paused the scene. There's like open bags of flour, like things spilled everywhere. Lilo's making voodoo dolls of her friends, saying they need to be punished. It's a huge [  ] mess. And the social worker, Mr. Bubbles, warns them, saying, "In case you're wondering, this did not go well." And so, something has to change. What is Nanie's solution here? Getting Lilo a dog. I want to backtrack here a little bit because I started by sharing Lilo's story, but the movie actually opens up with Stitch because at the Galactic Federation headquarters on some alien planet, there is a mad scientist named Dr. Jumba who has been illegally experimenting with genetic mutation, and it has resulted in a creature that he calls 626. It's a strange little doglike blue animal with bug eyes and huge rabbit ears. He has four arms, two legs, antenna. He's bulletproof, fireproof, superhuman strength, a brain faster than any computer, and he is hardwired for destruction. The Grand Councilwoman, the leader of this whole federation, tries to give this creature a chance. At the trial, she asks him, "Experiment 626, show me that there is something inside you that is good." In response, he says something absolutely filthy in an alien language that we can't understand. And then he like laughs maniacally, so they take him away. But of course, 626 escapes in a little rocket ship and finds himself bound for a planet called Earth. The Grand Councilwoman is panicking. Tell me everything you know about this planet. Oh, most of the planet is covered in water. And she's like, "Oh, okay. He won't survive in water. His molecular density is too great. Everyone's size and relief." And then the impossible happens. Experiment 626 lands on the tiny island of Kauaii. So, back to Lilo. She's at the shelter searching for a dog, and she happens upon Stitch, who is very poorly disguising himself as a puppy. She sees him though and she's smitten. We'll take him. Of course, homeg girl running the shelter is like, "No, anyone but that dog cuz this morning he was dead." And so Lilo had made up her mind though. So she pays $2 and she adopts Stitch. And so their adventures begin. They run around town playing, exploring, bullying Lilo's so-called friends, getting shaved ice. Stitch is kind of like observing how to be human, but it's always overwritten by his destructive nature. That night, they are sitting at a luau where Nani is working as a waitress. They're watching Nani's friend friend David. He's like doing the fire dancing on the stage and Nani's like serving Lilo and Stitch dessert. But in the background of all this, you know, the Galactic Federation, they're still looking for Stitch. So they have dispatched the creator of experiment 66, Dr. Jumba, and an agent called Plekeley to try and lure Stitch and trap him. So like, you know, Bplot, they're like, "Hey, Stitch, you know." Mhm. I laughed so hard watching this because these two aliens are trying so hard to act human. One of them is like this huge purple thing and then Blekeley has like one eye, but he like puts false lashes on it and like blush and like lipstick and like a wig and he's like, "Oh, like it's so [  ] It's so funny." He's able to get the lash on. Yeah, he got the one lash. Teach me. I thought about you. My [  ] lash is like lifting right now is what I'm saying. Only one eye. So anyway, they're trying to lure Stitch at the luau, but chaos ensues and Nani ends up getting fired. Later that night, Jumba and Pleley are spying on Stitch through binoculars. In this scene, Stitch is kind of wandering aimlessly around the room while Lilo is sleeping, and Jumba observes curiously. 626 is designed to be a monster, but now he has nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like to have nothing, not even memories to visit in the middle of the night? Stitch is rifling through the shelves, bored. He finds a book called The Ugly Duckling. He shakes Leo awake. He's like, "Read this to me," basically. And so she wakes up and says, "The Ugly Duckling is crying because he's lost, but his family hears him and finds him. And now the ugly duckling is happy because he knows where he belongs. The next day, Nani's going around town looking for a new job cuz she got fired. Lilo and Stitch tag along, having the time of their lives. Except every single time, Nani almost secures a job prospect. They [  ] it up. And of course, who else do they encounter but none other than Mr. Bubbles again? He finds out that Nani lost her job and he gently tells her. I know you're trying, but you have to think about what's best for Lilo, even if it removes you from the picture. I'll be back for Lilo tomorrow. So, I'm going to pause here and show you two scenes in a row. I cried many times during this movie. This is just one of them, but these are the scenes that I feel like most people cry at when they're watching Lilo and Stitch. So, in the scene, Nani and Lilo are curled up on a hammock under the stars. Nani is coming to terms with the fact that she has to say goodbye to Lilo in the morning. Stitch sits beneath them, observing and feeling and actually grasping all the sadness that's unfolding around him. So, I'm going to play the scene here. This is at the 52-minute mark.

    So in this scene, Nani is singing to Lilo Aloha Oi. According to American songwriter.com, the song Aloha Ooi, Farewell to thee, was written by Queen Lily Uo Kalani in 1878, and it's a tender melody about two lovers saying goodbye. The English translation reads, "Farewell to thee. Farewell to thee, the charming one who dwells in the shaded powers. One fond embrace. Here I depart until we meet again. So I'm going to play the next scene for you now and I'll talk about it after.

    So the scene I just showed Nins, this is following right after Nani sings to Lilo. Lilo and Stitch are getting ready for bed and Stitch sees the photo that Lilo keeps safe under her pillow with this question in his eyes. It's Lilo, Nani, and their parents. It was rainy and they went for a drive, she tells Stitch, "What happened to yours?" Stitch looks away. He doesn't have a family. Our family's little now. We don't have any toys, but if you want, we could be part of it. And here, the classic line that everyone remembers, ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. But Stitch decides to leave. He grabs his favorite book, The Ugly Duckling, and he leaves through the open window. Alone in the middle of the forest, he opens up the Ugly Duckling book and he reads the word lost. And here, for the first time, Stitch fully grasps its meaning. Because in order to be lost, you first need to recognize that maybe there's somewhere to belong. So, the rest of the movie plays out with lots of plot, lots of chaos. David comes by early the next morning and he's like, "Nanie, I think I found a job for you." So, Nani's like, "Okay, everyone, like just 10 minutes. Lock the [  ] in." Of course, the big bad aliens come trying to swoop Stitch. House completely wrecked. The roof caved in. M Lilo and Stitch get snatched up by the aliens. Stitch escapes. Lilo's stuck there. And then Stitch ends up promising Nani that he's going to help find Lilo because they're family now. He defies everything that they thought to be true about his destructive nature and he saves Lilo. So in the end, Stitch proves he is capable of change. He's capable of goodness, capable of love. So he and the other two aliens end up staying on the island and the end credits. God, I [  ] love the end credits. It's like all the vacations that they have like Lilo, Stitch, Nani, and David. They go to like visit is it Graceand you know like with Elvis cuz you know the the whole Elvis motif holidays spent with Mr. Bubbles and Pleley and Jumba. Like Stitch ends up like doing all their laundry. He packs their lunches for them. It is the most wholesome ending to this incredible story about found family and belonging. Now, with all that said, I want to talk about the scene where I did not expect to cry. After spending the whole day unsuccessfully looking for a job, Nani, Lilo, and Stitch end up at the beach. They're all super bummed. And then who comes along but none other than Nani's friend, David. He notices that they look upset and he says, "I may not be a doctor, but I do know that there's no better cure for a sour face than a couple of boards and some choice waves." Cue the absolute banger of a song, Hawaiian roller coaster ride.

    So, this is by Mark Kali Hoalu and the Kamehameha School's children's chorus. There's no place I'd rather be. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You know, I [  ] know. Everyone knows. So, in this scene, Nani, David, and Lilo decide to go surfing. Stitch cannot swim, so he's mostly just watching from the shore. He sees them build a sand castle, bury Lilo, and he tries to like bury himself in some sand, but it's not the same. Finally, as the sun begins to set, Stitch presents Lilo with a surfboard. "Can I join you?" he silently asks. So, he purchases himself on the edge of Nani's surfboard. He is terrified, but he begins to warm up, and by the end, he's smiling and cheering. So, I'm going to play the whole [  ] scene for you, starting with the choice waves. This is at the 45 minute mark.

    It's crazy part to like sob at, but in the backdrop of this scene, Jumba Jumba and Blleley are spying from afar, and Jumba is mystified, and he says something isn't right. 626 is returning willingly to water. Why would he risk drowning? And you realize that Stitch has stumbled across a treasure. He is watching this broken, patched up family push their worries aside. And the joy, the life that's right in front of them in all its glory and imperfection. The love and the joy and the safety and freedom just emanates from them. And so when Stitch takes a chance and asks Lilo to surf, what he's really asking is, "Please show me what that feels like. Will you show me I am worthy of experiencing that, too?" And for the first time ever, instead of filling the space in his heart with more anger and destruction, he lets himself crack wide open and he floods himself with love and joy and safety and freedom. It turns out Stitch doesn't just find something to risk dying for, he finds something worth living for. The song that's accompanying the scene, Hawaiian roller coaster ride, it's like so joyful and upbeat. Like, it's a [  ] bop. But there is a sense of freedom and peace in these lyrics that I never understood until this most recent watch. There is no place I'd rather be than on my surfboard out at sea, lingering in the ocean blue. And if I had one wish come true, I'd surf till the sun sets beyond the horizon. What a beautiful thing to meet yourself where you're at. To feel such despair, but to find some trace of goodness in what's right in front of you. To have so much be going wrong, but to reach for the one thing that's going right. to decide that out of everything I could wish for in the entire world right now, I actually just want this. Because if the worries are always going to be there, maybe for just this moment, we can let them float away. Be here with each other, existing in that love and joy and safety and freedom. Maybe for today that is enough. It's the same story. It's the same story. You started it like, "Oh, it's kind of a pivot." No, it's the same story. Yeah, it's the same. It's the same [  ] story. Is there anything to add? No. Thanks for tuning in. Actually, I did have one little thing here. Um, just that the word Lilo actually I never thought to look it up before I wrote this. It has multiple meanings. It can mean lost or separated, but it can also mean to become another's.

    Do with that what you will. Done. She's pissed off today. Mad. By the way, I don't remember. I think I've only watched this movie once all the way through in theaters when I was a kid. Oh, it's really worth the rewatch. I should. I really should. It's so good. I haven't I haven't watched it. It's now one of my It's now one of my favorite movies. It's so good. She says that about every movie. Every [  ] movie is my favorite. Everything changes my life. You know how it goes. Um so yeah, I do remember like the like oh like that part making me tear up when I was a kid. But when I was watching that scene of Stitch um being brave and and wanting to partake in that even though he knows the risks involved, I mean, isn't that what life is? It's just knowing that you're going to get hurt, that it's going to [  ] suck, but it is so worth it to risk your own pain for just an ounce of joy, you know?

    And it's small. Like, it's not even like even like a big thing, but it's actually huge. My god. You know, it's everything. It's everything. Hallelujah.

    And that's and that's our show, everyone. We'll end it there. We'll end it there. Double whammy today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Love that you talked about Justin Bieber, but it was the same story. It was the same story as Lilo and Stitch. It was the If he ever does watch it, he'd be like, "Man, that's sick, dude." Yeah. I feel like I'm like in his head so much cuz I've been watching so many like interview clips and stuff. Unrelated kind of related. Do you know the girl who does the Justin Bieber impressions and she's actually a really [  ] great Yeah. I come back to that so often. Her my favorite is her her pretending to be Justin Bieber if he were to audition for the role of Bach. Oh like like it's so [  ] convoluted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but like Oh my god. Yeah. Sorry. I just I'm going to link that though. I'm going to link that in the show notes. So good. This is a request for her to cover everything. Hallelujah. Let's see. Let's see if she can do it. Let's see if it's still funny then.

    Yeah, man. Well, thank you J Bibbs. Thank you Lilo. Thank you Stitch. Yep. You got us. We got got. Thank you for tuning in. Did you also have the time of your life or were you also infuriated as Arms was every step of the way? This episode was nasty. If you are really just like not into it, why don't you check the link for the Chiong meditation? That that might help you out a little bit. Don't forget to actually link that [ __ ] in the show notes.

    All right. Well, I think we're going to wrap it up. We're actually going to just stop here now. So, hope you felt a little something. Hopefully something something good in spite of our rage and fury. Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll just come back and do it all over again. Yep. you know, but until then, BRB crying.

Until next time…brb crying :’)

nins & arns
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046: "sunflowers" by harry baker / heated rivalry